Livin’ in a dream

Livin’ in a dream

On a warm summer afternoon, the rusling wind and the rushing river is all I could hear as I walked along the beat path, going nowhere in particular. I could smell the lillies in the air, something I’ve never noticed before, in the hundreds of times I’ve gone through here. I wanted to stop for a second, breathe in, before I move on. But I kept on, strolling away in a rush to get to nowhere.

I heard the songbirds in the distance, singing for me to listen. And the dogs, waiting for me to play with them. But I didn’t stop. I kept moving. This path was taking me somewhere I’ve never gone to in a long time. And I wanted to know where I was going to. I saw a market out of the corner of my eye and I stopped. Bustling with colorful items on offer, it was filled with happy people and children. Perhaps, it reminded me for a moment of what I’m trying to walk towards. But I kept going because the thought of what I might find at the end of my journey seemed more alluring than finding happiness in a grocery store.

A cat eyed me closely as I walked past it. It had this beautiful eyes that reminded me of something, a black spot swimming in an abundance of honey surrounded by bright turquoise with a ring of blue finishing it. I could feel those eyes boring down into me as I closed mine. I shook it off and kept going towards a destination I don’t yet know. That’s when something hit me. I had walked for miles and I hadn’t even realised it.

I saw an empty bus stop down the road and sat down there rubbing my palms together. I could feel the sweat dripping from my temples under the warm weather. I wiped it off and sat back enjoying the breeze. I began to drift away, my eyes gently closing and my arms resting on my lap.

I knew then, everything about that journey. The cat we chased down the alley and the market we burst into, laughing our hearts out. I could remember the rushing Avon in the backdrop as I said goodbye to you that night. And the lillies in the air, the time I stormed out of your place when you refused to see me. Most of it all, I could remember those eyes staring down into me like it was only yesterday. And the same empty bus stop where we spent hours sitting in, talking life away like it didn’t matter, feeling each moment as it drifted away from our grasp as we bonded. And we got yanked apart. By destiny.


It was a long walk for me getting home that day, an empty home I hated getting back to. But, I’ll keep living in the hope that someday, it would all comeback to me. That someday, I don’t have to close my eyes to see yours.

-VJ

This is something from deep within. I could barely find the words to say it. Even then, what I said is nowhere to close what it really way. It’s ironic though, words are all we got yet in the exact moment we need them in, they fail us. Yet we keep going back to them.

A Moment with Midnight

This won’t do justice to my love for quotes I know. But it’s a start. It doesn’t exactly say how I feel, how my body cringes, heart skips and my eyes well up, for those split seconds when nothing else matters but the absolute beauty in you.

I know I probably shouldn’t say this but I’m jealous, of people who are able to write such heart wrenching quotes. If I ever were able to, I’d spend my waking moments in your tight embrace, not that I don’t do it already!

So short, sutle
You won’t even notice,
If you don’t look hard enough
Yet a world in them
Through the right looking glass
Seldom cited aloud
Yet the chill you feel
When it hits you
Wave after wave
And you wash away onto the shores
Of reality again
Intimate moments you feel touched
By the very essence of life.

Again, a piece of my mind. Why don’t I make a change by doing this routine when I actually plagiarise rather than when I’m don’t ! Honest to God and to myself!

Days of our Lives

Spoiler Alert: Not my life story and probably never will be.

You know, as a poet I’ve come to love beautiful and tragic stories like such. As a person too.

Because having something you love the most, for a little while and losing it is better than not having it at all.

I saw a fire in your eyes
I felt my fire burning bright
With you in my arms
A smile would flicke across your cheeks
As you try your hand at living
And turn to a wide grin
When you fail, laughing at your own mistakes
The little salsa in your steps was subtle
Yet quite noticeable if you look close
It always made me wanna hold your hand
And waltz to some imaginary tune
Felt like only yesterday
When you said ‘yes’ to me
Kneeled before you holding that plastic ring
You gave me years ago
The whole damn world stopped for a minute
It was just my heartbeat I could hear
Before you began welling up with tears
Blazing through the speakers
Elvis Presley singing ‘I can’t help falling in you’
Exactly how I would’ve sang
Maybe it’s weird because I can’t remember any of it
Except for the look in your eyes when you said ‘yes’
A forever has seemingly passed
As I kneel here, where you lay peacefully
The little yellow flowers gently waving
To the songbird singing in the distance
You know, when they were putting you down inside
I never felt sadness, I never even felt you leave
You just keep living on as part of me
Maybe one day I’ll wake up and realise you’re gone
I dunno what I’ll do then
But till that happens, I’ll see you every morning
With that smile and that God awful coffee

I know I haven’t told you enough times
How much I love you
I don’t know if you know just how much
But I hope you do.

Once again, the above is a piece of my mind woven together at its most delicate moment. So no copy pasting there.

My Human Side

This here is a little something I conjured up a few days ago. Let me go ahead here and tell you that this is not about anyone. On the contrary, it’s about a little thing deep inside that’s been nagging me for quite something now. And perhaps this thing is more alive to me that any individual. It’s this shadow that follows me around no matter where I go. It’s there behind the curtains when I’m all happy and at the cusp of living. It’s there wrapped around me when I’m down and needing. It’s something I’ve always appreciated but never quite understood just how important it is my life.

It’s about man and his love for words, beautiful, powerful words that, incredibly have the power to say exactly what I feel.

This is all about showing what you truly mean to me.

I crumble,
At the sight of you
Into a million pieces.
At a glance
My mind rages
Like a stormy night
Tossing me to the edges,
Into the eye,
And back again.
Holding on, desperate
Pushed to the lines of insanity.
It’s always a fight,
Between life and death.
When I chance upon you,
Bundled up neat
In a cosy little book
Or thrown at will,
As bulletproof thoughts
Cherished like a daydream,
Thorns ripping me apart
As I hold you close.
An addict i’m
For the beauty in you,
And the pain that follows
You are the one true comfort
In my abysmal living.

The above is an authentic piece of my mind and yeah, sure I get inspired by works but how I use it to shape my own, that’s purely me.

A Better Tomorrow

I read. A lot. Love to do it more than anything. Not to talk about it or write no, I love to read because I get to know things previously unknown to me. And that makes me wonder about all the things I’m yet to hear about and all aspects of life I’m yet to experience. It makes me jealous of all those people who are akin to that section of knowledge and truth I’m unaware of. For example, the truth behind the Order of Secret Societies like The Illuminati (Subject to its existence which I’m unsure of) or Mother Nature and her changing faces which we are experiencing, or even what goes inside the mind of the strange Mr.Trump! I mean seriously, it holds as much mystery to me as the Bermuda Triangle or the Loch Ness Sightings! Perhaps what America needs right now is a Freud class scientist to invent a device that could predict what he would say before he actually says it so that the can prepare for it!

Come to think of it the word ‘leader’ reminds me of a certain quote by someone which goes like this..

“Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country”

A wonderful quote by the late Mr. Kennedy directed at his people to inspire a sense of service towards one’s country or, perhaps a catchy phrase that would keep his name standing beside the giants of American Politics long after he’s gone! If so, it did work I must say, or a random blogger from a random country half the world away would not be writing a blog post on it.

But strangely though, it got me thinking. Those words are of course true in every sense! Only a sense of accountability towards one’s actions can uphold a society. At the same time, It holds true to such men as well; born of flesh and blood yet with a stature that gives them unending affirmations like ‘The Great..’ or ‘brave Mr…’, throughout their lifetime irrespective of whether they deserve it or not.

Now, leaders, they inspire patriotism, they inspire a sense of duty towards one’s nation, to mobilize its citizens to be a better version of themselves in times of hardships. I believe that’s necessary because below all the pomp and masquerades, we humans are selfish beings. We are selfish about our beliefs and only to its extents. Exactly why we need someone at times to make patriotism part of our beliefs for the common good. Come to think of it, we’ve always had someone in the past like Lincolns giving Gettysbury Addresses and Churchill’s restoring faiths in desperate times to show he path. My question to you all is what do we have now? Whom do we have for a leader? I’ve heard some old folks sit and talk proudly about how they’ve met the great Mr.Gandhi or Mr.Nehru. It truly is a proud moment to be in the presence of such souls who had done so much more than their call of duty. Only bothering thought I’ve got is, would I be proud to say the same? Would I be proud to sit one day and talk fondly of when I first met the leader of my time?

I honestly would have to say ‘no I won’t be so proud’. And I know a lot of people would agree with me on that. I mean, why should I? We got a leader here talking about throwing innocent children (irrespective of whether they are illegal or not. They are children for God’s sake!)out of their country and another one justifying mob violence and crimes against women! And to think these are the kind of people we elected to lead us, to stand shoulder to shoulder with men of the past who became part of our history through endless struggles and a life of servitude.

If you look through the pages of history, into the lives of such great men before they became great you’ll find simple loving lives lost for they believed in a higher purpose, a lifetime and the very end of it being the price they had to pay.

Something our so called leaders would know nothing about.

‘I am not afraid of an army of lions led by a sheep; I am afraid of an army of sheep led by a lion.’

-Alexander the Great.

I believe I have exhausted my words for the day. And if you think I have fallen short of what I was trying to express, you probably need to read it another time. This is just an alarm clock ringing at the first sight of an uneasy dawn. These aint no desperate times but it will be, before you even realise it. In times of such hardships, the people have always stepped in and chosen their leader. Hope we be strong to do the same. Hope the mantle of leadership gets passed to the right ones through divine interventions or desperate means, before it’s too late.

Heartfelt

Finally! I guess I’m back! And that too after 7 months of not writing anything that went beyond mails!

I went through a lot of emotions before coming up with this one! Happiness, sadness, questioning my self worth and reason are to name a few. I realise I’m never gonna get any answers to the questions that cloud my mind right now. But I have this! Words, poetry, sitting alone with nothing but the joy of stringing words together to make them sound exactly how I want it to! If that isn’t worthy, if that isn’t reason enough, I frankly don’t know what is!

Here’s a little something that was the outcome of the very act I was talking about only a minute ago! Now, it may sound a little jagged for I’ve been out of action for the past 7 months. But it’s a start and I’m glad I started this once again!

I sit here, day after day,
Relentless;
Blank canvas and the rainbow
To etch the sun and the stars,
And the warm November rains,
Of life and the battles won,
Of you;
And all things beautiful.
Yet, I paint it gray
With the hollow of my heart.
Of bleeding lives
And broken souls,
I guess poetry
Has as much truth
As surreal scribbles.

The above is the work of the Author and no part of it has been copied from anywhere else.

Be Brave

Remember the dialogue in the movie Shawshank Redemption when Andy Dufresne says hope is the best of things? Yes, that be the word of a man who was gonna rot in prison probably for the rest of his life. Yet he got out and made a life for himself. What changed? He hoped. He hoped for a better life. His unshaken hope got him through his sufferings. For to get the life you want, you gonna have to have the kind of belief others cant even dream of possessing. Thats how you show you deserve it more than anyone else.

Below is a little something similar to what I tell myself if I ever find myself wishing I be dead. Although I got a good foothold from a Hollywood movie for this post, I did add my bit so that it be my words that I write.

May you always find the strength to get up everytime you fall down.

Do not go quiet into the night.

I say,

Do not fall silent without a fight.

Let the night be the darkness

And the light be the blinding fear.
May your voice drown in madness

And your fights end in nothingness.
May the stabs bleed you out

And the pain beat you down.
Let your heart crumble away

And hopes sink like paper boats.
And when you are done dying

Get up and fight.
For the darkness dont scare

Nor the pain
For the bleeding dont kill

Nor the sorrow
For you, my love,

 Are all the bravery

Folktales talk of.

Have a good night people. Sleep tight for all is well when you believe it is.

A Midnight Musing

Took me damn lot of time to get back. Its not a lack of free time that was stopping me but a lack of motivation. Thinking and coming up with something worthy was frustrating. It took a toll on me and I was gonna give up on this forever.

But, somewhere down the path I realised, I never began this to gain anything. This was simply gonna be an indulgence. It doesnt have to be good or something. It just has to be ‘me’.

Cheers to all those written and unwritten words. May you always find the motivation to pick up a pen and start writing just like that, every single time.

A little something to make me realise what I was gonna give up on. 

My path be my battleground
You be my victory
I walk till my limbs numb
For ‘you’ are the eluding horizon
Tantalizingly close
Yet unreachably far
And I be that little boat
That dreamt of the seven seas
And dared to go for it
Defeated yet unfazed
Shattered yet unbroken
I be constant
Like the gleaming moon
For I love not the little puddle
But the ocean blue.

 

Proud to say those were my words, thoughts and actions.

A trickle of life within the lifeless

Memory means everything to me. 

Memory has something that I hold dear. Spending moments, hours just gazing at the emptiness, believeing that the world infact is a beautiful place and my life is exactly how I wished it would be,well that’s a feeling that surpasses every other feeling. 

It gives me peace. Misplaced I know. Then again, most things in the world are misplaced. And completing the puzzle is what makes life interesting!

The monochromatic Nokia

Shone with vestige thoughts

Words from the past

A letter that was us.
The old tattoo in my neck

Reliving the joy

In the pain.

A scar that was us.
The cafes, the lattes

That stood witness 

To the imprints we left.

A memory that was us.
The fading photo in my wallet

The smile I so miss

The times I yearn for.

A life that was us.
Now, hollow hearts that ache

And shallow lives that fake

As I sit with this poem

Of you and I.
A love that was us.
The above is a product of some empty thoughts that creeped into my mind while in idleness. 

Echos from the soul

​To some poetry is just jumbled words made to love beautiful. To some poetry is but a way to impress. And there are some to whom poetry is the very essence their everyday living hangs on.

Hats off to all those wonderful poets who have made our life colorful!

Here is a little something from your fan!
What madness is this thing,

Called poetry?

Where love becomes the sun and the moon

And the heart, the ocean blue

Where love becomes the seven seas,

The surfer quests to tame.

Spinning tales out of the crashing waves

Hoping for a footprint, in the sands of time
What absurdity is this thing,

Called poetry?

Delusional quotes carved

On the tombstone of the dead

Telling tales of lives

Of great men and of others

Of hope and hardships

Of lost lives in the struggle, called living.
What is this poetry? I asked.

The autumn leaves and its inner peace

The dancing rain and its untold joy

Take my breath away!

‘Poetry, my dear’, said the voice in my head.

‘..is all things beautiful’.

Then again, everything is beautiful.

In its own unique way.
The above is a humble tribute from a person who has spends many a happy moments in the company of poetry.