I’ve been going good for a while now. I’m writing a lot and I guess some people I know and a lot of people I don’t know are periodically reading my posts. So, yeah, that’s something I can be proud of. But once in a while, I come across certain works that make my heart go haywire. Like this book by John Green I was reading a couple of days go. It’s titled ‘Paper Towns’. It is, perhaps, one of the best books I’ve ever read. It’s got a very average storyline but the writing, oh my God the writing! It will knock the wind out of you.
It just did to me.
And so here I’m posting a post declaring that I’m so bad at posting posts. I thought I was improving and one day I’d stand where great authors stood but no, I’m perhaps not moving as fast as I’d want to. Maybe, I’m just stuck here. Maybe, I’m not good enough to be all that I want to be. Maybe, its just another dream I gonna have to leave unfulfilled.
Books like such make me wonder if I’m really up for it. I mean, anybody can write a book. That’s exactly what I’m doing. But, it takes a lot of hard work and flair to write a great book. Hard work comes with time. It comes with passion and working towards it. But flair, it comes inborn. You cant just develop flair. Like Cristiano Ronaldo. Not everyone can be him. Others can be good but not nearly as good as him. Things like this make me believe in a destiny. If there really is a destiny, then one would achieve it. If there really is a destiny that I would become a writer someday, I’d. Else, I’ll keep living with whatever I have.
I’m never proud of anything I’ve written till date. To me, I was never good enough. That’s perhaps why I’m having second thoughts about my dreams. Maybe they are not my dreams after all. Maybe, I found writing just a way out from the suffering called life. Maybe I wont be all that I want to be. Maybe I would fail.
Maybe is such a powerful word indeed!
But I’ll keep writing as much as I can. ‘Maybe’ is not enough to put me down. I’ll keep writing and keep improving and someday and maybe, I’d be all that I ever wanted to be.
I thank you all who have been constantly following my posts, reading it and reviewing it and giving constructive feedbacks and expert comments. You make me strong.