I was never much of a traveler. To start with, I’ve always hated backpacking. Most people I’ve known used to say travelling gives them a sense of a purpose or a sense of independence or something like that. I’ve never felt any of that either.
But here I’m, standing on top of a cold barren peak; miles away from any trace of civilization feeling the icy cold wind hit my face at a whooping 40 km/hr. This is somewhere I’d never imagined I’d be at any point in my life. I would rather spend a cold Sunday afternoon sitting comfortably on my couch watching some boring movie which I’d seen a zillion times already.
‘I go to seek a great perhaps’ is what Francois Rabelais uttered before he breathed his last.
That’s what I do.
It started off with seeking her. She loved travelling and I loved her so its only natural that I fall in love with travelling as well. And so I did. At first, I traveled for her. I traveled to seek her. When she left me, I had no purpose, no reason. I became a shadow devoid of emotions. I tried so hard to get over her. I tried to concentrate on my so called career which wasn’t much of a career. One fine night a few years after she left, I was reading just another book about the success story of just another individual when, in the middle of it, I was filled with this great big dilemma that why I’m even reading this book. I tried reasoning out with myself, trying to come up with possible reasons to why I’m sitting where I’m sitting at 4 AM reading a book which I’m reading.
I could come up with none.
The truth was nothing about the world really made sense to me. Time and again, she told me never to let others be responsible for my own happiness. I guess I never really took her suggestions in. I was guilty of letting her become the sole reason for my happiness. I was guilty of a far greater crime, of letting her become my sole purpose of existence.
And so I realized that the last one and a half year which I spent trying to get over her had been a miserable failure. I just kept feeding myself lies, hoping that one day it would become the truth. But, it ended up as the drapes of lies that I had used to keep the rays of truth away.
And so I let go.
I embraced the truth from which I’ve been hiding, the truth which was her. And so here I’m standing on top of this bloody freezing mountain, living a life she would have loved to live. At first, I started going off to such places to seek her. Places like these gave me a feeling of being with her. I’d imagine all the crazy things she would’ve done had she been here. I’d think of all the insane discussions we’d have at 4 AM on top of a freezing mountain.
It made me happy.
I’ve been travelling for over 5 years now and I guess, I’ve gotten used to it. I don’t travel to seek her anymore. I travel to seek myself. I travel to seek a purpose in life I can devote myself to.
Most people disagreed. I could’ve been successful they said. But I don’t care. I’m living a life where I can wake up and be happy about how I’m living it.
Most of all, I’m happy because I have her with me.
Thank you for your time.
The above story is a work of fiction and any resemblance of either the characters or the situations portrayed to anything real is pure coincidence. It is based upon certain real occurrences and please don’t be surprised if you find me on top of any mountain at any point in my life.
And the author does not agree that stories should have an ending. Stories, like life, can go on forever.