I would like start off with one of my favorite scenes from the famous American sitcom F.R.I.E.N.D.S.
Note: All of the words in Italics are not the actual words spoken but the thoughts that crossed their minds.
Its starts off with Chandler Bing aka Matthew Perry in an ATM vestibule when the power goes off. The doors of the vestibule close off automatically trapping Chandler inside it. He looks around and finds an attractive woman in the vestibule.
Chandler: Oh my God, it’s that Victoria’s Secret model. Something… something Goodacre.
Jill : [on phone] Hi Mom, it’s Jill.
Chandler : She’s right, it’s Jill. Jill Goodacre. Oh my God. I am trapped in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre! [pause] Is it a vestibule? Maybe it’s an atrium. Oh, yeah, that is the part to focus on, you idiot!
Jill : [on phone] Yeah, I’m fine. I’m just stuck at the bank, in an ATM vestibule.
Chandler : Jill says vestibule… I’m going with vestibule.
Jill : [on phone] I’m fine. No, I’m not alone… I don’t know, some guy.
Chandler : Oh! Some guy. Some guy. ‘Hey Jill, I saw you with some guy last night. Yes, he was some guy.
[Chandler strides proudly across the vestibule and Jill stares at him.]
After a while,
Chandler : Alright, alright, alright. It’s been fourteen and a half minutes and you still have not said one word. Oh God, do something. Just make contact, smile!
[Chandler smiles at her, she smiles back sweetly.]
Chandler : There you go!
[He continues to smile like an idiot, and she looks frightened.]
Chandler : You’re definitely scaring her.
Jill : [awkwardly] Would you like to call somebody? [offering phone]
Chandler : Yeah, about 300 guys I went to high school with.
Chandler: Yeah, thanks. [takes phone]
After a while,
Jill : Would you like some gum?
Chandler : Um, is it sugarless?
Jill : [checks] Sorry, it’s not.
Chandler: Oh, then no thanks. What the hell was that? Mental note: If Jill Goodacre offers you gum, you take it. If she offers you mangled animal carcass, you take it.
After a while,
Chandler : You know, on second thought, gum would be perfection. [Jill gives him a stick of gum, and a strange look] ‘Gum would be perfection’? ‘Gum would be perfection.’ Could have said ‘gum would be nice,’ or ‘I’ll have a stick,’ but no, no, no, no. For me, gum is perfection. I loathe myself.
Chandler : [chewing gum] Ah, let’s see. What next? Blow a bubble. A bubble’s good. It’s got a… boyish charm, it’s impish. Here we go.
[Chandler waits until Jill is looking, then starts to blow a bubble. But instead of blowing one, he accidentally spits the gum out of his mouth and hits the wall.]
Chandler : Nice going, imp. OK, it’s OK. All I need to do is reach over and put it in my mouth. [Chandler slyly grabs the gum from the wall and slides it back in his mouth.]
Chandler : Good save! We’re back on track, and I’m… [grimacing] ..chewing someone else’s gum. This is not my gum. Oh my God! Oh my God! And now you’re choking.
[Chandler starts to choke.]
Jill : Are you alright?
[Chandler tries to save face and makes the ‘OK’ sign with his hands, while obviously unable to breathe.]
Jill : My God, you’re choking! [she runs over and gives him the Heimlich, the gum flies from his mouth] That better?
Chandler : [gasping] Yes… thank you. That was… that was….
Jill : Perfection?
(Spoiler Alert: The supermodel kisses lucky Chandler goodbye saying she has had the best blackout. So, dreams do come true!)
See how he was?
This is perhaps the best example I can give to describe myself. I would’ve done the exact same thing in her presence.
He got screwed over in front of a supermodel. Imagine how it would be in front of an angel.
Let me give you an example.
One day, I go to take a photo with her, instead I smile for a photo she snaps, thinking of all the abuses I would use on myself for blowing a good chance.
I go to dance with her, instead I end up stepping on everybody dancing around us and it ends up with her laughing at me.
I want to look at her and I stare at her. After a while she looks at me and gives me that, ‘you’re either weird or perverted or perhaps both’ look.
This is what happens every time. I want to say something but I end up meaning something entirely different and dumb. That’s why I even had to stop texting her for a while after I said something that if you were to take it in an entirely different sense, would be extremely desperate and dumb.
I don’t know. All I wanted to do was to go ahead and fall in love with her. I’m probably not getting anywhere because I can see it. It’s been almost three and a month and all I do is sit in a corner in class and stare at her sitting in the opposite corner.
This is probably all a waste of time and my emotions.
She probably doesn’t even know I exist. Even if she does, she doesn’t care.
She’d rather go out with the monkeys in the Mysuru Zoo than with me.
But then, I want to know for sure. I want to know for sure that she hates me more than all of the people she’d ever hated in her life.
I want to know for sure and hence, I won’t give in. Not yet I won’t.
This is for you who is reading it and don’t know this is all about you. I’m going to come at you and sweep you off your feet.
Then you’ll know you’re in love.
I would like to end this post with yet another famous quote by John Green in his book ‘The Fault in our Stars’ which would so perfectly describe what I’ve been feeling these past three and a half months,
“You gave me an infinity within the numbered days of eternity”
(Slightly altered to suit my whims)
Thank you all for reading this and I look forward to write many more and happy posts on this beautiful, little thing I’ve been feeling.
Fingers crossed and hoping it would end in happiness for the both of us.