I walked into the classroom of my new college for the first time to be greeted by a multitude of people from a multitude of backgrounds and culture. Although it was tough remembering names at first and the language barrier made it quite hard to mingle freely, one particular person made a lasting impression that stays on even until now.
I don’t want to name her. And yes it’s a ‘her’ (obviously!)
I’ve travelled to God knows how many places in the country and looked at even God don’t know how many faces in my short twenty three year life span. But by God, looking at her for a second, felt like every little sorrow vanishing just like that and I felt a kind of happiness that had no reason and no way of explaining.
I don’t believe in a God but I think by now I’m beginning to because honestly, no human can ‘make’ such a beautiful person.
And mind you, I’m not in love!
I mean, who would love a person by just looking at them? Of course that’s called love at first sight but it’s just an attraction. At least I believe it’s just an attraction and not in any way a love.
I’m simply mesmerized by her.
And reading from the dictionary which I got in my hand right now, I would like to add the words magical, mystical and memorable to this experience.
Quoting my favorite book “The Fault in our Stars”, “I love looking at beautiful faces and a while ago I decided not to deny myself the simple pleasures of existence”.
You can call me a poet or melodramatic or whatever but I know what I’m saying. If you were to have a look at her face, you’ll know what I’m saying. The softness in her eyes, the mild curves of her cheeks when she smiles, her full lips and her shoulder length wavy hair. The way she lies her head down on the table and looks (in my direction). Her voice, a mixture of maturity, seriousness and mischief hidden under ever little syllable.
God! don’t even get me started on her voice.
You’ll fall in love with her if you were to just have a glance at her. It’s mighty hard for me to not to.
You know the feeling Leonardo Di Caprio had when he first saw Kate Winslet in ‘Titanic’? That’s exactly what I had when I saw her first. Maybe I should call her Rose after Kate.
But I won’t call her that. I’ll call her Hazel, after my most favorite character from “The Fault in our Stars”.
I don’t want her to be just an empty beauty. She must be a woman with maturity and independence endowed inside her. She must have the strength to love the things she wants to love and stand up for the ones she loves. She must have the heart to help those around her without expecting anything in return. Because when you help a person to stand up when he’s fallen down, he’ll in turn keep you away from falling down.
She mustn’t break when life gives her oranges when she wanted apples. She must go on and on because when you stop living and start existing, you cause the biggest sin the world to happen by abusing life.
This is just my version of what she is.
I don’t know anything about her. Not her date of birth, her favorite color or movies or sports. Someday though perhaps.
People say fate has the last laugh always. Whatever happens to you happens because of your fate and blah blah blah. But I don’t believe in one. I believe making our own fate as we get by. I mean, a kid from a rural village where English is a long held dream ends up in a fancy B School in a big city writing tall stories about his life. Well
I’ve changed my fate or at least altered it.
I hope to change my fate this time as well. I wish to try my luck and who knows maybe, the angel might descent from heaven just for me.
A quote from Shakespeare’s “Twelfth Night” which I like goes as follows,
“Here she comes, now heaven walks on earth”.
Too many citations from “The Fault in our Stars” I suppose. Yeah, when I imagine a love story, I imagine Hazel and Augustus because anyone can fall in love but it takes lots of strength and heart to love deeply even if the fear of getting broken looms strong.
I’m selfish and possessive but with her, I just want her to get the best there is even if the best happens to be not me and someone else.
I wish to end this prologue (Yes, a prologue because more and more love is going to unfurl as we go) with another quote from “The Fault in our Stars” which goes like this.
“You don’t get to choose if you get hurt in the world but you do have some say in who hurts you. I like my choices”.
Thank you all for reading and I know it’s not much but it’s a good start. It’s been a while since I wrote anything and I’m glad I still have it in me. Now, I got to go do something manly as I’m becoming soft after writing almost 900 words of candid romances.
Oh and I wish to dedicate a song to her.
“The way you look tonight” by Frank Sinatra.
And P.S I still don’t love her. Not yet but….